


A Son's Grievance || TeruHina

by FandomsAndBoredom



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Do you have your permission slip for the feels trip?, Emotional Hurt, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Fanon, Hajime is number 1 supportive person, Headcanon, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss of Parent(s), Love Confessions, M/M, Murder, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teru killed his mother boys, i didn't cry writing this you did, what do you mean you didn't write this shut up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsAndBoredom/pseuds/FandomsAndBoredom
Summary: After waking up from a 7 month long coma, Teruteru Hanamura is faced with the knowledge that while under Junko's control, he killed the one woman in his life who saw him for who he was.
Relationships: Hanamura Teruteru/Hinata Hajime, Pekoyama Peko/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	1. A Son's Grievance

A fuzzy beeping noise fills the void of emptiness as light begins to fill his vision. Voices of "He's awake!" and "Call Makoto!" begin to materialize in his mind. 

He sits up, his head pounding as he tries to focus on the room he's in. He can only see one individual in front of him, although he can't quite focus on any of their features. "Just sit tight, okay? Don't try and stand, you'll pass out." The voice is a familiar male one, but he can't focus on anything right now.

As he sits and waits, his vision clears. He sees a grey haired woman and a purple haired woman laying on a couch to his right. He feels like he recognizes them, but he can't put a finger on the names... 

"... Peko..?" He mutters. It turns out the grey haired lady was awake. She sees him and waves, smiling warmly. "Hey. How are you feeling?" She asks. He shrugs. She simply nods, and goes back to tending to the girl in her lap. 

He runs his hands through his gross, greasy hair. How long has he been here? Where is he? He feels disgusting, all sticky and gross. He's in some sort of capsule...

All his thoughts are cut short when two men walk into the room. One has light brownish-blondish hair, and the other is a darker brunet. They both come and sit in front of him. The lighter haired man has a clipboard. But he focuses on the brunet for a moment. Shorter hair, but the one red eye gives it away. A name pops into his mind. 

"Kamukura... Izuru Kamukura?" He asks. The brunet nods. "Yes. Well, not really, but that's all you know me by." The lighter haired man catches the attention of the newly awoken fellow.

"Hello. Glad to see you're awake, you're the last of the others. Before I tell you my name, I need you to tell me yours." Silence. His name... His name...

"Hanamura. Teruteru Hanamura." The man with the clipboard nods. "Hello, Teruteru. I'm Makoto Naegi. You've been in a comatose state for the last 7 months." He says. Teruteru blinks. 

"7 months?"

"Yes. We had to remove a lot of memories to root the despair out of you, so you're likely very confused." Teruteru nods. 

"Could you... Ya know, tell me what's happened?" He asks. "What's this despair mumbo jumbo? Don't I need a bit of despair? I thought it was a common emotion?" Makoto shakes his head.

"Well, Teruteru, you aren't wrong, you need some. And you have some. Your confusion and disorientation is stemming from despair. Despair is totally natural. But after Junko Enoshima hypnotized you, you were given an excess of it. And it made you do some heinous things." Teruteru's stomach drops at 'heinous things'. What did he do? Then it hits him

_Mama... ___

__"MAMA! I- My mother. She's really sick and fragile, I really need to check in on her.." He says. Makoto's face drops, staring at his clipboard. He turns to Izuru. "You tell him, alright? And Peko!" He calls to the lady on the couch. "You and Mikan go somewhere else please?" She nods, lifting the sleeping Mikan and exiting, Makoto on their tail._ _

__Teruteru freezes in panic. Izuru stands, holding out a hand to help the other up. Teruteru takes it, standing. Within three seconds, he's pushed into the chair Makoto was once in. He looks at Izuru in dismay. "What happened to my mama..?" He asked quietly as Izuru sits down in front of him, having turned the chair he was already seated in. He sighs, the look in his eyes showing that he really hated to say this._ _

__"She's dead, Teruteru. I'm really sorry." Teruteru's heart stops. "W-what...? How?" He asks, hoping to hear that it was from her illness. Izuru's face sinks even more. "Do you really want to know..?"_ _

__"Yes! Of course I do!" Silence. Izuru sighs heavily, his eyes sad._ _

__"You killed her, Teruteru. In your hypnosis, Junko ordered us all to do one thing that would cause us overwhelming despair. She ordered you to kill your mother. And you did."_ _

__At that moment, the world went still for Teruteru Hanamura. The one person he'd ever relied on, the woman who saw him for who he really was, the woman who made him the man he is today..._ _

__And he killed her._ _

__He takes off like a bat out of hell, out the door as Izuru shouts after him. He stumbles into the hallway, debating which way Teruteru went._ _

__"Hajime?" He looks up and sees Fuyuhiko, who had been speaking with Kazuichi when Teruteru had took off. "He went that way, up the west end staircase."_ _

__Hajime immediately runs towards the west end staircase, and he catches a glimpse of Teruteru rounding the corner. He takes the stairs in twos. "Teru! Hey! Please, just let me explain!"_ _

__Teruteru feels his heart shatter. His mother called him Teru. She probably called him Teru when he killed her as well. She probably begged him for mercy, for a reason why, all while using his old childhood nickname. He'd never hear her say that nickname again. And it's all his fault._ _

__He reaches the top of the stairs, throwing open the doors and arriving on the roof. _Perfect.__ _

____The voice behind him is nothing but white noise now as he runs for the edge of the roof directly across from him. The footsteps chasing him are nonexistent as his mind is set on one goal._ _ _ _

____**Die, you worthless scumbag.** _ _ _ _

____Hajime shouts and hollers, but gets no response. "Teru! Don't, please! You need to listen to me! It wasn't your fault!"_ _ _ _

____**Murdered your own fucking mother.**  
**You disgusting excuse of a son.** _ _ _ _

____The voices get louder as he gets closer. More aggressive as he approaches his demise._ _ _ _

____**Probably liked it too.**  
**You disgusting, dirty little pervert.** _ _ _ _

____All the self loathing is coming to the surface. All the names, the ideas, the emotional scars his bully-riddled childhood left him with._ _ _ _

____**Who would ever be proud of someone like you?**  
**This is why your father left. He couldn't be bothered to parent the creature you are.**  
**No one would ever date you. No one would ever love you. You're just too gross, and ugly, and perverted**  
**Short and fat, you look like a wad of chewed up gum. You're pathetic!**  
**The only one who ever loved you was your mother.** _ _ _ _

____**But you killed her, didn't you?** _ _ _ _

____"I KNOW! I KNOW!" Teruteru shouts at the voices in his head. The edge is approaching faster and faster._ _ _ _

____**Just a little farther.**  
**Jump, you useless little mistake.** _ _ _ _

____A pair of hands grab Teruteru's shoulders as he reaches the edge of the roof. He tries to fight them off, but he is pulled away from the edge against his will. Hajime immediately pulls him into a hug. He fights against it at first, but he finally gives in, going limp and breaking into sobs._ _ _ _

____"What were you thinking...?" Hajime asks. Teruteru chokes down a sob and tries to speak. "I deserve it... I deserve it..."_ _ _ _

____"No you don't. You don't deserve to die for something someone did to you. Your mother's death wasn't your fault, it was Junko Enoshima's fault. You were hypnotized, with a broken state of mind."_ _ _ _

____Teruteru goes silent. The voices still talking, he starts voicing them actively, his filter lost. "I'm worthless... A disgusting little pervert. I'm nothing but a useless mistake." He says in a dead voice. "An ugly creature that doesn't even deserve the love of his father."_ _ _ _

____Hajime feels his heart break. He had kept most of his memories, and he remembered Teruteru's personality before he was hypnotized. Friendly, outgoing, confident. How strange it is to realize it was nothing but a mask to hide his insecurities._ _ _ _

____"You're more than that. You try your hardest to please others, I've seen it. Even when you were in the trance of despair, you worked hard and did whatever anyone asked you to. You're dedicated." Hajime says._ _ _ _

____Teruteru backs up, and Hajime grabs his wrists to pull him farther from the ledge. The two stand in silence, Hajime actively waiting for Teruteru to move or speak. And he does._ _ _ _

____"Izuru- no, what is it? You said you had a different name."_ _ _ _

____"My name's Hajime. Hajime Hinata."_ _ _ _

____"Well, Hajime... Thanks. I guess I just... Had an episode.." He scratches his neck and wipes the tears from his face. Hajime nods. "I get it. I really do." He says. They stand in silence again._ _ _ _

____"Am I really unlovable, Hajime?" Teruteru asks. Hajime shakes his head. "I don't believe anyone is unlovable. Not even Junko. She had people who loved her, and she was, in many ways, a mass murderer." He smiles warmly. "So no, Teru, you aren't unlovable."_ _ _ _

____The shorter male smiles, hearing those words. "Teru... My mother called me Teru..." He says. Hajime frowns._ _ _ _

____"I can stop using it if you'd like."  
"No! It's fine, I quite like it, actually." He says. Hajime nods. _ _ _ _

____They stand on the roof for a while, just staring at the horizons. All the lights and buildings. Teruteru feels calmer, more relaxed in Hajime's presence. It's like the taller man had an aura about him that was able to calm others. Hajime interrupts the silence._ _ _ _

____"So, if you don't mind... Why don't we go inside, it's very cold up here, and Makoto has a few more questions for you." He says. Teruteru nods, wiping the last of the tears from his eyes as they turn and walk towards the door of the west end staircase. They walk in silence for a moment, before Hajime speaks again._ _ _ _

____"By the way, Teru... I don't think you're ugly at all." He says. Teruteru looks up at him. "You... You mean that?" He asks. Hajime nods. "Of course I do. There's plenty to find good in both your appearance and what I've seen of your personality. "_ _ _ _

____Teruteru feels skeptical. "But... I'm really emotional, and temperamental, and I can be suggestive, vulgar and a bit promiscuous at times.." He remarks. Hajime nods. "Yeah, but there's got to be a reason right? Nurture over Nature." He replies. Teruteru pauses, but nods._ _ _ _

____"There is."_ _ _ _

____"Exactly. Maybe we can talk it through, later?" Hajime asks. Teruteru nods in agreement. "I'd... I'd like that." He says._ _ _ _

____Hajime stops in front of the doors. Teruteru does as well. Hajime turns to him. "You know, I'd really like to get to know you better. Maybe, when we can get all this sorted out, we could, I don't know, go for coffee or something..?" He asks. Teruteru chuckles, but nods._ _ _ _

____"That sounds like a great idea, Hajime." He says. He pushes the door open, holding it for the other to walk through. Hajime nods a thank you, and they both descend the stairs._ _ _ _

____Teruteru is hurt. He's in emotional pain from the death of his mother. But somehow, Hajime has made it feel like everything's going to be alright._ _ _ _

____Maybe things really are looking up._ _ _ _


	2. A Friend's Mentality

All the questions, people have been picking his brain for the past two days. Teruteru's getting tired of it. He wants to be left alone. And he made that clear! People aren't listening to him, wanting explanations or justifications.

"JUST SHUT UP!" He shouts, Hiyoko abruptly backing away. "I'm done with your questions, I'm done with your suggestions, I'm done with your BULLSHIT!" He rages on, his mind clouded and overwhelmed by anger. "You're a remnant too! Why are you acting like the good guy?!" 

"I didn't kill my mother, though."

Everything goes silent. Hiyoko realizes that she might have said the wrong thing as she backs up slowly from the chef. Teruteru just stands in silence, his heart breaking into pieces again. His mind is playing Hiyoko's words on repeat. 

_"I didn't kill my mother, though."_

Hiyoko speaks. "I- I'm sorry. I got pushy." Still silence. Teruteru feels the tears coming, and Hiyoko can see his eyes well up. She tries to apologize again, but Teruteru just turns around and storms off. She stands in silence, before turning to Mahiru, who was standing behind her. "Go find Hajime."

The moment Teruteru's in his room, he starts crying. He feels the breakdown set in as he trembles on the floor of the room he was assigned. He rocks back and forth on his knees, desperately batting off the deprecating thoughts.

**"You're worthless."**

"No I'm not." He says out loud. "I have worth, I have value." The sobs keep catching in his throat, as he hiccups and chokes on his tears. 

**"Disgusting excuse of a human being."**

"T-there's nothing wrong with me.." He chokes out, still rocking back and forth, unsuccessfully easing the tension. His mind is shouting at him thoughts of hatred, loathing.

**"Grotesque, ugly, creaturous freak!"**

"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!" He shouts, his head in his hands as he claws at his scalp. He hates the voices, hates the people who wronged him, hates himself. 

**"What a little mistake. Just a lowlife pervert with only his cooking going for him."**

"Please... Please.."

**"You MURDERED your own mother!"**

"I KNOW! I KNOW!! Please..." Teruteru looks at his hands and arms, and realizes he's been scratching himself up, leaving cuts oozing blood pink liquid. 

**"You should just kill yourself."**

"No..."

**"Do everyone around you a favour."**

"NO!"

He hears the door swing open, and he looks up to see Hajime kneeling in front of him. He places his hands on Teruteru's shoulders as he takes in the sight before him. Teruteru is covered in cuts, all over his arms, hands, neck and face. He's bleeding profusely. He takes off his blazer and uses it to soak up the blood. 

"Hey, I need you to breathe for me, okay?" He says, as Teruteru tries to even out his breathing through his aggressive sobbing. Hajime waits, and soon enough, Teruteru's breathing is somewhat sensible. 

"Now talk to me. What happened?" He asks. Teruteru sighs shakily, before diving into his explanation. Hiyoko's taunting, all the questions he's been forced to answer, the voices in his head.

"I should just die..." He says weakly. "I'll never be a person someone can be proud of..." Hajime wants to cry at the genuineness of the statement. It pains him to know that Teruteru truly believes that.

"No you shouldn't. There's no reason for you to die." Hajime states. "Your mother. Think of how proud she is of you."

"Was of me." 

"Who's to say she's not proud of you now?" The brunet asks genuinely. "Who's to say that wherever she is now, whether it be heaven, or some unseen afterlife, she isn't standing on a balcony watching you overcome the despair, watching you try to repair yourself, seeing your true remorse for your actions." He sighs. 

"Who's to say she's not proud of you?" The words sink into Teruteru's mind as he processes what Hajime just said. Before he could speak, Hajime interjects. "And even if she, for whatever reason, isn't proud of you, I am." 

Teruteru just chokes out a tear filled laugh. "I... I appreciate that..." He says. "I haven't been able to be myself lately. I've been o-overwhelmed and emotionally volatile." He sighs. "I just... I just wish they'd leave me alone..." 

Hajime nods. "I get it. They did it to me, too. I was the second last one up, and I was bombarded with questions. It was scary." He pulls the smaller man into a hug. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to tell them to knock it off."

"That's not your fault." Teruteru says. "It's fine, don't apologize..." 

They sit in a peaceful silence. The voices in Teruteru's head are quieted, and the tears are drying. Hajime pulls out of the hug, looking at the state Teruteru's in. "We've gotta get you cleaned up, Teru." He remarks. "All these cuts could get infected." 

The chef nods, standing as he looks at the damage he'd done to himself. He hadn't even realized it, he didn't feel any pain. Now, however, he can barely move his wrists or flex his fingers without wincing. 

"Hey." He says to Hajime, who's now standing and patting away the blood on Teruteru's face with his blazer. "You know how you said you wanted to go get coffee?" 

"Yeah." Hajime replies. "Well, maybe we could do that tomorrow? I'd like to talk to you about a few things." Teruteru says. Hajime nods. "Sounds like a plan."

He walks over to the door, opening it and holding it for Teruteru. "Now, come on, we've gotta clean those cuts before you get an infection." 

Teruteru nods, smiling at the care he's being given. The mentality is there, the self-loathing ideas are ideas he's held since childhood. But all he can think about as he walks through the door is how cared for he feels. 

Hajime really is a miracle worker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that I'm making this a full fic. Making it an entire story drawn out over 6 chapters. :) 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. A Heart's Realization

They sit in a comfortable little coffee shop, Teruteru desperately trying to avoid the glares of those around him. His arms are bandaged, and his face is scratched. He looks like he's been attacked. He's also a Remnant of Despair, but he knew that would draw some eyes. 

Hajime had distracted him by telling him a bit about the Jabberwock Island simulation. "You killed Imposter, but, accidentally. You were trying to take out Nagito because he was planning a murder." 

"Oh.." Teruteru hates the idea of it. But, nonetheless, he remains calm. "So, I wanted to tell you a few things..." He mutters. Hajime nods. "Say whatever you'd like to, I'm all ears."

Teruteru nods, but still fears to say anything at all. What is Hajime going to think of him after this? He braces himself and begins talking. 

"You know... I do have a reason for my.. less than appropriate behaviour.." He states. Hajime smiles reassuringly. "I would assume so. A lot of your behaviour seems a lot like an influence due to trauma or neglect."

"Well, abuse. And neglect. But mainly abuse..." Teruteru says. Hajime's heart sinks. What happened? Who hurt this wonderful individual, who deserves so much more then he's gotten? "What happened..? You don't have to say." He says softly. Teruteru shakes his head. 

"It's fine. I was... Molested. Quite frequently as a child... These patterns of sexuality and lewdness are just... Kinda... Engrained in me at this point. And I try to push them down, and not act in that fashion, but it's hard when it's a habit engrained in you from the age of 8." 

Hajime's heart sinks even farther. Who's knees need to be broken? Who needs to be taught a strong fucking lesson in not being a horrendous creature? Hajime pauses as he realizes the thoughts racing to his mind. Why does he wish violence on someone he barely knows? 

"I... You.. I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't have said anything.. it was probably my fault anyw-" Hajime's hand slams against the table, cutting Teruteru off. 

"Not your fault. It was NOT your fault." He says in a stern, angry tone. "Do not, for one second, think it was your fault in any way. At all!" Teruteru flinches at the tone of voice, and Hajime clocks in on how loud he's being. He gentles his tone.

"I'm... I'm sorry for getting angry.. it's just, you deserve better. So much better." He states, running his hands through his hair. "I can't stand the idea that someone would do that to you." 

Teruteru stays silent. He's marveled that someone cares so much. That Hajime cares so much. He smiles softly. "I... I'm, glad you think that, Hajime... I really appreciate it.." He still can't rationalize in his mind how it wasn't his fault, but he's glad that Hajime believes it wasn't. Hajime can tell. He grabs Teruteru's hands gently, to not disturb the cuts. 

"Look. I want you to understand. Whatever that... that... Creature did... Whatever that lowlife pervert scumbag did... It wasn't your fault. It was theirs. All theirs. There's nothing you could have done to prevent it." He says genuinely. "And I want you to be able to believe that. Because it's absolutely NOT, and never has been, and never will be, your fault."

Teruteru's eyes well up, as he lets out a quiet, teary giggle. Hajime panics as he sees the tears, but the shorter male just shakes his head. "No no, don't freak out... It's just the first time I've addressed this since.. god, 9th grade?" He chuckles as the tears roll down his face. "I've just... I've repressed the memory to the point that I'm just... I'm a fuckin' mess.." 

Hajime smiles, using the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe the tears from the other's eyes. He finds himself lost in Teruteru's... Well, everything really. His eyes are puffy and glossy with tears, his nose and cheeks blotched with red. He's remarkably pretty, and Hajime can't help but wonder how he'd feel about him k- 

He cuts himself off. He's been hit with a realization that he wasn't quite ready for. He's got feelings for Teruteru Hanamura. He's not surprised, Teruteru is very charming and kind, but now's not the ideal scenario..

"Uh... Hajime..?" Teruteru asks. Hajime jolts from his thoughts. He nods. "Sorry... I was just thinking.."

**About you...**

Teruteru nods. "It's fine. I just... Got worried for a moment." Hajime chuckles. "I was just lost..." 

**In your eyes...**

Teruteru just chuckles. "We should probably get going. My tea's gone cold by now." He gestures to the cup in front of him. Hajime nods. "Yeah, my coffee's long cold as well." He stands, and Teruteru stands with him. 

They step out into the breeze and begin walking back to their living quarters in the Future Foundation. Due to their status as Remnants, they can't live in the general public for a while. 

They make it back home, and Hajime drops Teruteru off at his room. "Thanks for taking me out, Hajime." The shorter male says. Hajime nods. "My pleasure. I'm glad... I'm glad you trusted me enough to open up to me.." 

Teruteru only responds with a hug, which Hajime allows gratefully. They stand for a while, before Teruteru steps back. "Well, I'm gonna go and read for a little bit. Peko was nice enough to lend me one of her books. She said her girlfriend really liked it, and she thinks I'd like it." 

"Girlfriend? Isn't Peko dating Fuyuhiko?" Hajime questions. Teruteru shakes his head. "No, she's dating Mikan. Kaz is dating Fuyuhiko." Hajime nods in response. 

"Well, I'll see you later, Haj." Teruteru remarks, giving a foolish nickname before waving and heading into his room. Hajime nods in response, but he can only think of one thing.

**God, I hope you like me back...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, I made a chapter of this to distract me from the abomination that is my Serial Killer!Ishimondo fanfiction. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. This one is the big feels reveal. :)


	4. A Crush's Confession

Hajime and Peko stand on the balcony of the latter's bedroom. Peko wanted some help organizing her bookshelf, and Hajime is remarkably good at it. 

"What wouldn't you do for Teruteru, Hajime?" The change in topic was abrupt. Hajime sighs, scratching his neck as Peko waits patiently. "I.. there's not much..." He mutters. Peko laughs. 

"It's obvious." She says. "You've talked him down from panic attacks countless times, and it's obvious you know so much about him that we don't." She picks a stray piece of lint from her braids. 

"He.. he trusts me, I guess." Hajime states, shrugging. "There's more than that." Hajime looks at Peko quizzically. "What do you mean?" He asks.

"You love him." Hajime freezes. How did she figure that out? Did he make it that obvious? What if Teru noticed? Peko laughs again. "I was just kidding, but that reaction solidifies my suspicions." Hajime glares.

"Alright yeah, I like him. But it doesn't matter, he doesn't like me back anyways." He says quietly. Peko scoffs. "Like hell he doesn't like you back. Have you _seen_ the way Teruteru looks at you?" Hajime shakes his head. "Heart-Eyes Hanamura over there can't help but stare at you! Are you _that_ dense?" 

Hajime tries to respond, but he's interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Both Peko and Hajime turn to see Mikan stood in the room behind them. "Uh, Hajime. I just thought you might w-wanna know... Seeing his behaviour lately... Teruteru's on the roof." 

No more prompting is needed. Hajime nods to Peko and Mikan, before quickly darting out the door. He speed walks to the west end staircase, before taking the stairs in twos. 

He swings open the door, seeing Teruteru across from the door. He runs quickly to his side. Teruteru jumps a bit as Hajime appears next to him so suddenly. "Oh! Hey Haj, what's wrong?" He asks. 

"I..." How does he respond? "I uh... Mikan said she saw you up here. I wanted to make sure you were okay..." Teruteru smiles. "Aww, that's sweet of you Hajime. I'm fine, though. Just... Had an episode. Came up here for fresh air." Hajime sighs.

"Alright. Sorry to bother you..." Hajime turns and begins walking back to the door. He feels so flustered and panicked. He's embarrassed. Teruteru can handle himself, of course he can! Why is Hajime so needlessly worried?

Teruteru watches as Hajime leaves. He slowly turns back, leaning forwards and placing his arms on the ledge. What did he do? Why is Hajime so upset at him? He sighs quietly, placing his head in his hands. A new voice appears in his head. A pleasant female one, warm and motherly. 

**"You should have told him the truth."**

Teruteru sighs. He should have. He should have owned up to his suicidal thoughts. But he didn't want to worry Hajime more...

**"He wants the best for you. Opening up to him would do you so much good."**

He feels afraid to open up to Hajime any more than he already has. He's afraid something would go wrong, and Hajime would use these details against him.

**"You've fallen in love for the first time in years, embrace it!"**

Fallen in love? It catches Teruteru off guard. He lets his mind drift for a moment. He thinks back to the coffee shop. How enamored he was with Hajime and his level of care for him. He can almost feel the hoodie on his face, drying his tears. He thinks back to the kindness, the help, the midnight conversations...

Teruteru is in love with Hajime Hinata. 

He smiles, chuckling as he runs his hand through his hair. He backs away from the ledge. He looks towards the door, wondering if he should go look for Hajime. Is Hajime actually mad at him? He walks to the door, determined to figure out what was wrong. 

Meanwhile, Hajime sits in his room, wondering if he'd fucked it all up. He'd been very abrupt. What if Teruteru thought he was mad at him? He probably did, seeing how aggressive his reaction was...

He's snapped from his thoughts with a knock on the door. "Come in..." He says. The door opens, and Teruteru enters. Hajime's heart sinks. He fears the worst. "Hey Haj..." Teruteru says, fiddling with the cuff of his chef jacket. 

"Hey.." Hajime replies. They stand in silence for a while. "I... Are you alright? The way you acted on the roof doesn't seem like you at all..." The chef says. Hajime sighs. "I... How do I..." He pauses again. 

"I felt intrusive. You can handle yourself, I shouldn't feel like you always need someone with you. You just needed air, it was childish of me to think otherwise." He says. He can feel the tears fill his eyes. Why is he so emotional all of a sudden?

"What? No, there's nothing wrong with that at all!" Teruteru replies, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed next to the taller male. "Especially with the state I've been in? It's a completely understandable concer- Wait, no no no, don't cry!" He reaches for Hajime's face, as tears begin to streak the pale skin. 

"I... It's just... I feel so ridiculous! You don't need to be hovered over like a child! It's not like you were actually gonna kill yourself, I'm just over-emotional and paranoid! I don't want to lose you!" Hajime's spilling his thoughts like no tomorrow, as Teruteru listens. 

"You did the right thing, Hajime. I..." Teruteru wonders if he should admit this. "I _was_ having suicidal thoughts... That's why I was on the roof. I didn't admit it then out of shame." Hajime stares wide eyed, before collapsing into sobs. Teruteru holds him, wiping tears from the older man's eyes. 

Teruteru wants to tell Hajime he loves him. To tell Hajime he cares, that he'd go to the edge of the earth for him. But an internalized fear of rejection boils up inside him. 

Hajime is slowly calming down. His sobs turn to sniffles, and his sniffles turn to silence. He wonders what Teruteru thinks of him at this very moment. He wonders how he'd react if he actually opened up about his emotions. Everyone's been so emotionally volatile, Teruteru isn't the only one who's been having suicidal tendencies. 

"I... Teru...?" Hajime asks, sitting up straight. He fears what he's about to say, but every bone in his body is telling him to just say it. Get it over with. Teruteru nods, waiting expectantly. 

"I.. uh... I..." Hajime can't bring himself to say it. Why can't he bring himself to say it?? He chokes on his own tongue, his mind searching for an easier way out. "Hajime. I'm not going to be mad at you, no matter what you say." The chef reassures. The taller man sighs. 

"Do you promise that?" He asks. Teruteru nods. "I... I... I have feelings for you." He finally spits it out. "I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to fuck it all up, you know? Like, you've been so happy with me as a friend, why should I ruin that for my own selfish gain?" 

Teruteru stares off into space. His brain almost shuts down. Hajime likes him back... Hajime likes him back! He hangs his head, chuckling quietly. Hajime sighs. "I'm sorry, I should have just kept it to myse-"

"Don't apologize! It's... I'm..." Teruteru runs his hands through his hair. "It's... I like you too. Didn't think you liked guys, honestly. Wasn't gonna say anything..." Hajime blinks. His brain calculates what the younger male said in his mind. He scratches his neck awkwardly. They simply sit in silence for a while, just waiting for the other to speak. 

No one speaks, but slowly, Hajime scoots closer to Teruteru, placing his own undamaged hand in the chef's calloused one. There's evidence of so much work on those hands, burns from hot ovens, and callous scabs from lugging around ingredients and materials. 

Wordlessly, Teruteru's hand closes around Hajime's. A mutual agreement. Silence never broken, but almost a million words said in one gesture. What would others say? That didn't matter. Not anymore. 

All that matters is the moment. The slowing of time they wish could last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is boys. Getting really into the meat of the matter. 
> 
> I'll put a warning here, as well as at the start of the next chapter, smut warning! 
> 
> I also headcanon that Teruteru's hands are F U C K E D, because of how long he's been cooking.
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Really hope you like this, I got the idea from a TikTok I watched. This is pure fanon, but I like the depth it gives to the story. 
> 
> I might make this a full story, so if you'd like that, lemme know! :)
> 
> Also formatting this was a pain in the ass, and I've been typing for 2 ½ hours 0v0;


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